Sunday, 2004-02-01, 02:13:50 am, @home

Though constantly crying for more than six hours now, I can barely shed a tear, maybe because I didn't drink anything since Friday. And furthermore though I cannot breath correctly, because I've got to choke again and again, I can't vomit anything, maybe because I didn't eat anything for more than 36 hours now - where nothing's inside, there can't anything come out.

I haven't been alone the past four hours. I alternately felt more than great and more than even worse. Got the information I wanted, which was more than I needed.

Feeling lucky, feeling sad, gotta think about it. Actually, I cannot look ahead nor back or around. There're just spots of light and darkness circling around in my mind and my confused universe. When will a friendly sun light up my life again? What will it look and be and feel like?

What am I supposed to do?